Attachment Styles

The three types of attachment styles include:
1) Secure attachment style- Securely attached adults have positive views of relationships, find it easy to get close to others, and are not overly concerned with or stressed out about their romantic relationships. These adults tend to enjoy sexuality in the context of a committed relationship and are less likely than others to have one-night stands. Secure attachment style does not compare with the avoidant or anxious styles other than simply forming relationships, because the avoidant and anxious styles do not have that security in their relationships. In contrast, secure attachment differs because there is no jealousy or distance or demanding for the partners attention. Rather, having the ability to trust in the relationship, secure attachment individuals are comfortable with time spent apart from their partner. A television couple that personifies this style of attachment are Audrey and Jeff Bingham from the show “Rules of Engagement”. They are both very secure in their relationship. They trust each other completely, and they are not stressed out or concerned with their partner goes out with friends and they are not together.
2) Avoidant attachment Style- Avoidant individuals are hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships and once in a relationship tend to distance themselves from their partner. Avoidant style compares with the anxious style in that there are no strong bonds of trust and deep commitment. Avoidant style contrasts with the secure attachment style in that the avoidant individual will distance themselves from their partner once in a relationship, and the secure attachment individuals remain close and throughout their relationship will continue to grow even closer and develop deeper levels of intimacy with each other. A television character who expresses the avoidant attachment style is Russell Dunbar on “Rules of Engagement”. Russell is a character on the sitcom that serial dates and has a rule about no female can stay overnight at his place. He avoids second dates, and when he thinks he likes a female enough to develop feelings, he will shun her and avoid all contact with her, because he does not want to be in a committed relationship.
3) Anxious attachment style- Anxious attachment individuals demand closeness, are less trusting, and are more emotional, jealous, and possessive. Anxious attachment style compares to the avoidant attachment style because, while the individuals are in a relationship, their relationships are lacking security, and a deep level of commitment. Anxious attachment style contrasts considerably with the secure attachment style because, rather than having that level of trust and ease of maintaining the relationship, the anxious individual is continually seeking validation from their partner. They lack the ability to trust and are jealous of everyone and anyone, unlike the secure attachment individual who trusts in their commitment, and therefore their partner and the relationship, and can be confident that even when they are apart from each other, they have no reason for unjustified or irrational fears about the status of their relationship. An example of the anxious attachment style is Jackie Burkhart from “That 70s Show”. Jackie is a character whose parents are absent from her life, although they shower her with money. She is constantly demanding attention and validation from her boyfriends on the show.

http://www.2knowmyself.com/how_to_make_someone_love_you_forever

 

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